Texts From Last Night

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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Whats the glycemic index on semen?

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  (216): Whats the glycemic index on semen? http://tfl.nu/dx5r
  Replies (17) Good night (2814) Bad night (866)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.

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  (440): woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl. http://tfl.nu/ta0b
  Replies (82) Good night (1178) Bad night (4876)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.

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  (613): I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy. http://tfl.nu/5u2t
  Replies (79) Good night (9717) Bad night (1601)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."

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  (970): Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college." http://tfl.nu/qe42
  Replies (19) Good night (4737) Bad night (1249)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  [insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]

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  (937): [insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight] http://tfl.nu/2cq7
  Replies (29) Good night (11747) Bad night (2736)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?

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  (519): What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand? http://tfl.nu/srza
  Replies (10) Good night (5240) Bad night (1951)
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  (909): View more from California

  Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?

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  (909): Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked? http://tfl.nu/pmav
  Replies (7) Good night (2223) Bad night (1177)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.

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  (609): Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year. http://tfl.nu/sxhu
  Replies (10) Good night (2488) Bad night (1005)
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  (714): View more from California

  When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.

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  (714): When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value. http://tfl.nu/r3cp
  Replies (16) Good night (795) Bad night (2976)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults

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  (810): You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults http://tfl.nu/ltaq
  Replies (3) Good night (1353) Bad night (637)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.

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  (940): He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts. http://tfl.nu/9w8s
  Replies (11) Good night (3077) Bad night (691)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.

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  (208): well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list. http://tfl.nu/vs8b
  Replies (5) Good night (1266) Bad night (559)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED

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  (586): I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED http://tfl.nu/w9fp
  Replies (10) Good night (972) Bad night (523)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.

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  (573): He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it. http://tfl.nu/rclz
  Replies (3) Good night (326) Bad night (790)
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  (323): View more from California

  She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."

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  (323): She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it." http://tfl.nu/wbyt
  Replies (8) Good night (524) Bad night (148)

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