She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises