there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.