If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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