Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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