I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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