DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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