Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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