yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
