the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
