At least make sure they are 18
Why
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Randomize