Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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