I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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