I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
