I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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