Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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