Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
