Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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