So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
