I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
