And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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