It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
