Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
