You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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