I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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