chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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