some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My cat gives me a boner
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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