he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
