We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
