Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
