i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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