also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
