I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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