I need help removing her.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
