Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
We were destined to go to rehab together
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
