remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
