Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
