he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
