My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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