at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
