so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
