Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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