Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You should frame my arrest warrant.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
