Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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