i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
