We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
