The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
