Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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