He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
My feet surprised me
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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