Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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