highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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