Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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