dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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