She said her name was "party"
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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