Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Randomize
