I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
