My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
