Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
