Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
