In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
The best revenge is premature balding
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
