I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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