There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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